Home sweet home

That's it folks. After the mega 36 hour journey back via China we are very happy to be home in wonderful, clean, green NZ.

We are so lucky to live here! The pervasive smog in China is unbelievable. Peering through it as we landed in Changsa and Guangzhou it occurred to me that some young Chinese may have lived their entire lives without ever seeing a true blue sky. (Maybe we should have donated our hotel's gas masks!)

Luckily for us we arrived back home before Cyclone Pam, so we are enjoying a few hours of sun and warmth before the rain and wind hits.

I hope you enjoyed reading the blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. See you soon.

Quick - grab the gas mask

Steve was overjoyed to discovered that our hotel room in Frankfurt came complete with two full size gas masks.

But not as happy as I was!

If he keeps dropping his guts (too many Frankfurters in Frankfurt) I might have to resort to using one of the gas masks in the middle of the night.

Bad soden the cow

I'm not sure what the cow icon is meant to represent on our GPS but it doesn't sound positive for Bessy to hang along too long in a town called Bad Soden.

Run Bessy run.

Is this the ugliest truck stop in Europe?

"WTF is that?" said my normally mild mannered husband as we cruised into our park at the autobahn truck stop.

The weird sculptures jutting off the building rivaled any oddity we have seen in NZ (hello Ohakune carrot) and Australia (yes, I'm talking about you giant koala, giant banana and giant rocking chair).

With bizarre decor inside and out, that appeared to have been hand-painted by an untalented 8 year old, it was an assault on the scenes, and not in a good way.

The 12 signs of the zodiac greeted us at the front door, along with a hang-gliding cousin of Einstein with a slight vampire appearance.

Why? Who the f&#k knows except the schizo who designed it all.

(King Ludwig II of Bavaria is suddenly looking very sane....)

Souvenir of the day award

... and the winner is the Baviarian beaver cappella trio!

It smells like pine!

"Really? Gosh. Good to know dear."

You can take a boy away from his chainsaw but not for too long...

Target rich environment

The castle was the main attraction but the Chinese tourists were a close second.

For your viewing pleasure I am pleased to unveil the secrets behind a successful Chinese holiday snap slideshow...

Technique 1: The selfie-stick selfie

Technique 2: The self-love-selfie

Technique 3: The crucifix

Technique 4: The one legged crucifix (difficulty level two)

Technique 5: The one legged fly from a bench (difficulty level three)

Technique 6: The synchronised selfie & action shot

Technique 7: The double synchronised selfie with food (difficulty level four)

Technique 8: The Chairman Mao

Technique 9: The 'sieg heil' pose

Technique 10: The raised V

(...and Steve trying to keep a straight face)