Fondue es wonderbar

The Swiss have an international reputation for being very reserved. And they are. If you ask them, they will say the stereotype is true. 

Happily for us, when you get 10 Swiss people in a cellar sharing a cheese fondue and schnapps - they are not reserved at all. They get quite lively. Strange that.

Brunch at the waterfall

Bea and Tjeerd surprised us with a wonderfully scenic brunch, on the Rhine, below Switerland's most famous waterfall. 

And what a waterfall.  The pics I took didn't show it all so I got this pic from the internet to show you what it looks like. You can't tell in the picture but the power of the water going over is absolutely breathtaking. Our boat motored up almost to the base so we could experience the full impact.

And of course there is a castle (oh yawn another castle) above the waterfall to give it that cute European timeless quality.

For 2 hours we cruised down the Rhine, with Switzerland on one side and Germany on the other, while having brunch. It was all very well organised with lots of bread, meat and cheese. The standard European breakfast.

As you can see from my chubby cheeks in the picture, I have stacked on HEAPS of weight. So has Steve. None of my trousers fit anymore. And no wonder. I've eaten more cheese, cured meats and wine in six weeks than I ever thought possible. When we get home we may both be born again vegans!

Spontaneous wine tasting

Don't you love it when you are walking back from a Swiss castle to your car and you discover a wine tasting cellar set up by the side of the road? It would obviously be rude not to stop.

We met the winemaker and his daughter (french speaking Swiss from the Geneva region) and they made us taste all their wines. And forced us to try a pile of bread, cheese and sausage.  It was hell.

The lively conversation was an interesting mish-mash of german, french and english. My school girl french was struggling to keep up but I recognised the odd word. Steve made himself popular with the winemaker by saying "tres bien" after every sip. 

Bea and Tjeerd made them very happy by buying four cases of wine. Steve and I bought the wine for our dinner tonight with Bea's parents - six bottles: one chassis, two pinot gris, three sauvignon franc. Uh oh - we might be crawling home...

A jig in the castle

Steve and Tjeerd dancing together in the Schloss Kyberg castle after hearing the news that Bea and I were going to give them a five minute reprieve from doing all the cooking, cleaning and laundry duties.

Murf wants these

A must-have for the sophisticated European dog...

Odd restaurant sign

Here is a surprising sight we saw in an exclusive restaurant in central Zurich. 

Now I can understand the no-dogs sign, considering that Europeans take dogs into every public place they can.

But no rollerblades and skateboards???  So just how many people attempt to roller blade in exclusive restaurants in Zurich? I'm intrigued.

Louis and friends

Bea and Tjeerd took us for a stroll down the most expensive retail shopping block in the world.

The "Bahnhofstrasse" is lined, wall to wall, with the world's most exclusive designer brands. Louis Vutton, Tiffany & Co, Prada, and all the other usual suspects.

The window displays were works of art. But you could feel the suction of the designer-wallet-hoover straining to reach your meager pocket. 

So many bankers

We are staying with our good friends Beatrice and Tjeerd at their lovely apartment in a tiny rural village, about 40 minutes from Zurich. 

Yesterday we spent the day looking about the Zurich area - by ferry, by car, by foot. 

Zurich is beautiful. Like an ultra-sophisticated version of Melbourne, with a river like Paris, and a bank on every block.

We saw more porsche, audi, mercedes and maserati in one city than we've ever seen before.  My god, look at all those 'bankers'...!

Car park art

Saw this in Chur, in a public carpark. The VW is part of the mural. Nice.

Nothing to see here (yeah right)

Some travel writers must be so jaded.

Our scenic train from St Moritz terminated in a Swiss town called Chur and most websites told us there was nothing to see there. So we expected nothing special.

We found something much nicer.  A really cute historic town with nice restaurants and cafes. No tacky tourist shops. No street sellers. No restaurant menus in five languages. And a much more real Swiss experience. Lovely.

The best street sign in the world!

Oooo fantastic!!! A street sign that bans mothers and children from being in a public place. How brilliant.

Obviously, these should be mandatory at restaurants, in planes and on trains - anywhere that my ear drums might be assaulted by a spoilt 4 year old having a tantrum.

(Much to my disappointment, I discovered later that it's actual meaning is 'no pedestrian access'. Such a waste of an opportunity.)

I love roesti

The best thing about Switzerland is the roesti. It is basically potato hash browns, with any ingredient you could imagine.

Here is my lunch in St Moritz. Roesti with leek and bacon. OMG! So good. It looked so impressive served in the hot pan that a troop of travelling Americans came and accosted me to find out what I had ordered for lunch, so they could have it too.

St Moritz Bad & St Moritz Dorf

Town names in the German language often end with the suffix 'dorf' (which means village) or 'bad' (which means near water). 

It leads to some amusing street signs. Like this one in St Moritz. So I assume bad people have to stay in this little hovel under the hill...

And I guess good people get to stay here...

St Moritz

Our overnight stop in St Moritz was an eye opener. The place just oooozes luxury. On every street, you could see the evidence of lots and lots of money pouring in. Designer shops, expensive hotels, immaculate houses. With our backpacks, we felt like something the cat dragged in.

It was only missing one thing - rich people. The place was a ghost town and most shops were closed as the ski season recently ended. But it was interesting to see anyway. Until we had lunch and nearly bankrupted ourselves. (Cough, cough, how much???!!) We found out later that St Moritz is known as the most expensive town in Switzerland. Easy to believe.

At least the views were free! And they were spectacular.

Over the alps by train

Goodbye Italia.  Hello Switzerland.

Today we took the Bernina Express scenic train over the alps to St Moritz.

Oh my god!! The word "scenic"doesn't even begin to describe the view we saw today.We climbed to 7,380 feet above sea level. There were blue skies, frozen lakes, glacial melt, chocolate-box houses, green lakes, blue lakes, grey lakes, forests, waterfalls, etc etc.

And that was only the first two hours of the four hour journey. Steve and I hopped off the train at the halfway point so we could spend a night in St Moritz. Apparently the St Moritz to Chur journey is even more scenic. If that is possible.

The photos below don't do it justice. The view is too expansive to capture. But you'll get the idea...

The incredulous gardener

Steve was so impressed with the gardens at Villa del Balbianello that he estimated it would take four men, working full time, to keep it looking so perfect. He was wrong. They only have two - very hard working - gardeners. Steve felt exhausted just thinking about it.

The tree in the top photo is kept perfectly rounded. It is trimmed like a small topiary bush, except for one small complication - it is 20 metres high. When Steve first saw the tree he said "OMG, how the hell do they do that??!"

We found out. They do it by climbing up underneath on ladders, poking their heads through the top and trimming it - by hand - with pruning shears. Now that is impressive.

Star Wars nostalgia

Those of you who know about my total worship of all things StarWars and StarTrek will not be surprised to discover that we went to Villa del Balbianello on Lake Como. The villa has featured in many movies, including Star Wars II (Anakin and Armidala's wedding) and James Bond (the private hospital in Casino Royale).

The villa and gardens are absolutely stunning with 270 degree views of the lake and immaculately trimmed trees and climbing vines.

We did a guided tour inside the villa and were amazed to discover a treasure trove of artifacts collected by the 20th century Italian explorer Guido Monzino. The collection rivalled that found in most museums and included priceless artifacts from Chinese and Mayan civilisations, with some as old as 2000 BC. With great foresight, Monzino gifted the villa and all its contents to the National Trust of Italy when he passed away in 1988.

This was, without doubt, the most stunning place we have seen on our trip so far. If you ever get to Lake Como, don't miss it.

Bloody bidets!

One tradition in Europe that really mystifies me is the bidet. 

There must be a knack to using a European bidet but I don't know what it is. I tried to use one, once, in Venice and nearly did myself an injury.

It makes sense in Asia, where they almost never have toilet paper and you get a hose instead (not a sit down bidet) so you can direct the water whichever which way you wish. At times, going to the toilet in Istanbul resembled having a shower in a very unhygenic paddling pool. (Ick)

But in Europe - when toilet paper is readily available and they have the smallest bathrooms in the world - why do they cram a bidet in there as well? 

The main function of the bidet seems to be to confuse tourists. In the middle of the night, when you are groping around in the dark trying to find the loo, you have to establish which is the bidet and which is the loo. Not easy when you are half asleep. 

What a lovely fanny

On the ferry to Bellagio we saw gorgeous villas adorning the side of the lake.

The one behind me is glorious - huge gardens, lovely balconies, pink & white walls. It lost a bit of glory when we saw its name. Printed in enormous letters on the front of the house was the word "FANNY".

I can just imagine a disgruntled architect playing a practical joke on the snooty owner. "Honest Maria, the word Fanny in English means 'royalty'...Trust me Maria...Would I lie to you...?"

Rainy day couture

One of the surprising benefits of a rainy day in Bellagio is getting to see American tourists completely unprepared to brave a day with 10 degree wind and rain. We saw one poor sod wearing shorts and running shoes (the American travel uniform). He looked miserable.

People who forgot to pack a raincoat resorted to buying those disposable poncho raincoats - you know, the ones that look like a pink garbage bag with a clear shower cap hood.

Oooo very attractive.

A room with a walking frame

Hey Dad, we could get you a room with a zimmer frame...

Oooo look, a trout!!

The fisherman looked at the lake and instantly spied a trout in its depths. (As some of you will know, you can't eat trout in NZ unless you go and catch it yourself.)

From that moment on, he was on a trout seeking mission. We looked at every restaurant menu and eventually found the one that served fresh local trout.

Stevee got trout for dinner. Happy Stevee.

Travelers in the mist

This morning, we took the train up to Varenna, a small perfectly-manicured village on the shores of Lake Como. 

The weather has been getting worse the further north we go. When we arrived we could see Bellagio (the village on the opposite side of the lake) but the village, the mountains, even the lake, has gradually disappeared under layers of mist, fog and rain. By this afternoon, Varenna looked and felt like a rainy winter's day in Queenstown.

But there are compensations. Our room is in the 'tower', the third floor of the yellow villa (directly behind the yacht masts in the top photo). Another fabulous villa filled with antique furniture and lovely balconies overlooking the lake. When the sun comes out we might even get to see the lake.

In the meantime, there are restaurants full of food, glorious food. I'm aiming to fill into a size 24 pair of jeans by the time I reach Switzerland...

Did the earth move for you, dear?

3am, on the 11th floor, in a hotel in Milan.

Steve wakes me up and asks if I felt the earth move. "Um no dear. You aren't THAT good."
He said "I think we just had an earthquake".
I said "I can't feel anything".
He said "But the bed shook and the room was swaying".
I said "You must have been dreaming. Go back to sleep".

This morning, he is VERY smug. Apparently Northern Italy had a 5.1 earthquake (6 people killed, but we are ok Dad, in case you were worried).  CNN report of earthquake

And I thought he was just bragging. Again.

My Italian cook

Steve is putting our Amalfi kitchen to good use. For breakfast each morning I've had fresh fruit salad and scrambled eggs. And each night he puts on his chef hat and makes us a lovely meal. It's been a nice break from restaurant food.

He loves going shopping each morning (without me) for that day's secret ingredient. Yesterday's pre-dinner surprise was caviar. The day before he made a nice Caprese salad of tomato, basil and mozzarella.

He's particularly excited that he can now order most of his food in Italian. The locals seem to appreciate him making the effort and he's having a great time trying to speak the lingo.

(God knows what I did to deserve him. I'm still trying to figure it out.)

Stone therapy

After going for a stroll on the "beach" I now know why people pay 10 euro for a deck chair and a beach umbrella. Steve said that walking barefoot on the beach felt like those massage sandles that give your feet a workout.

So I sat on the beach eating my dark chocolate gelato and wondering...  "maybe if I wiggle my arse on these stones it will get massaged down to a size 8?"  Worth a try. With the amount of gelato I've been eating I may not fit into my trousers by the time we get to Switzerland.

Then again, with Switzerland being the home of chocolate, apple strudle and hundreds of types of sausage, I may not fit into any trousers by the time I get home! 

No matter, that's why every women has a pair of 'fat pants' in the back of the cupboard - for emergency situations - when someone has accidently pulled the cord and turned into a life raft!

After a few weeks of RPM back at the gym I'm sure my arse will recover.  In the meantime... Oooo is that a gelato shop.  And yes, I will have another red wine thanks.  And an extra helping of that lovely dinner you are cooking.  What the hell.

007 Stevee

Remember that scene in the James Bond movie where Daniel Craig emerges from the water looking rather manly in his swimming togs?  (All the women nod. All the men say "who?"). Well, here is Steve's reenactment.

He was determined to go for a swim in the Mediterranean after coming all this way. Apparently it is (quote) "bloody cold and full of sea mites and massive stones".

But otherwise it's great.

Steve finds mecca (in amalfi)

At home, Steve will regularly say "I have to go to the hardware store". As if it is a chore. It isn't. The hardware store is the place he loves most.

So yesterday, when he suddenly said "I have to go to the hardware store" I was worried he might be having withdrawals. 

To my relief he had simply broken the dust pan. Turns out his motivation was fear. Of the cleaning lady. A feisty Italian lady we met on day one. 

So off he went. To Mecca.

Happy Stevee.

Stumbling into hell

Our walk finished in Positano. Ah Positano. It's gorgeous. From a distance. 

When you get closer you discover yourself in packed lanes, surrounded by Pommy tourists called "Fat Nigel and Sunburnt Sharon" and their colonial cousins "Beer Gut Darren & Slapper Shazza". To get to the beach you wade past shop after shop after shop of crap. To be rewarded by a beachfront of over priced restaurants with bad service and bad food.  (We had two small snacks and one drink each and it cost us 36 euro!)

Get us out of here!!!!

Amalfi feels like a quiet fishing village compared to this. Amalfi has its fair share of crap but it's streets are more spacious and more locals actually live there. It feels more real. Thank god we didn't choose Positano as our base. My months of research just paid off.

Cemetaries with a view

Not a bad spot to spend eternity.

Farms with a view

Oh Luigi, you want me to build your farm where?  Santa Maria!

The Walk of the Gods

The track was well named. We got up here early before most people were awake and the reward was an empty track, sunny weather and a glorious view.  Magnificent. 

Heaps of room mate!

The bus drivers here are amazing. This morning, we caught a bus from Amalfi up to the top of the hill so we could do the famous "Walk of the Gods" to Positano. There is not a millimetre to spare when those buses go around hairpin corners and pass other vehicles. Impressive to watch.

What is even more impressive is how courteous the drivers are to one another - and to cyclists! People will wait patiently while you reverse into your park, they will wave you past when you overtake (as opposed to speeding up and trying to run you off the road), and best of all, we haven't seen anyone get angry towards cyclists. NZ drivers could learn a lot here.

Our pad

Here's the view from Amalfi back towards our apartment. Not too shabby.

Viagra naturale

That's what the sign says...

Our latest shack

Aaaaa it's good to be in Amalfi. I booked our self-catered apartment online a few days ago. They said it had a view but you never really know what to expect. I hadn't expected it to be this good!!!

It is bliss having a kitchen. I can make a cup of earl grey tea or slurp on a hot milk whenever I feel like it!! 

Meanwhile Stevee is running around doing what Stevee does - you know - laundry, cooking, cleaning.  He's a bloody marvel!!!