The Pose

What is it with Italian women? When someone takes their photo they inevitably do “the pose”. They all do it. From as young as 11 years old.

I’ve seen many variations on the pose but it typically has six key elements:

1. Cross your legs (to give off that red carpet vibe)
2. Put hands on hips (to give off that sassy “I’m in charge here” attitude)
3. Swivel hips sideways (to appear slimmer)
4. Curve your body (to emphasise whichever bits you think are sexiest)
5. Angle head down and peer up through hair (the coy Princess Diana glance)
6. Lean backwards (optional – depends on flexibility and ability to balance high heels on cobblestones)

The slapper-chic variation is to lift the hem of your skirt to show off more leg while looking at the photographer with “come and get me Mario” eyes.

They can’t all be aspiring fashion models. Or can they? Oh god, that would just be too depressing. 60 years of feminism and fighting for equality, so we can do “the pose”?!

(NOTE: The woman in the pic is doing ‘the pose’ half-heartedly. I think she might be Eastern-European with a very old and fat boyfriend. No wonder she isn’t trying too hard. With him, all she has to do to be attractive is to have a pulse. Excuse me while I go and throw up...)